It probably isn't the best idea to sit at my desk and think of all the things I would rather be doing then working right now. It's probably even crazier to write about it while I’m supposed to be working. I've actually accomplished a lot today which I feel good about. But the more I sit at my desk everyday and look out my window (ok so I don't have an office, but I do have an amazing downtown view) I think about all the things I want to see and do.
I want to go to grad school, travel to at least one new place every month, learn to speak Arabic in the Middle East, visit Hawaii for more than one week (actually one week would be really nice right now), see my old college friends that I rarely get to see, and just have some new and different adventures. It is really easy to sit here and think of those things, especially when boredom takes hold. In a way, I think it is weird to always be thinking "what's next". I have a lot of friends who would never dream of moving away- their life is here so it wouldn't even occur to them to move. My life is here too, so why do I always have this need to go somewhere new? Moving away is actually really scary and isn't always as glamorous or adventurous as it seems.
So what I have realized is this: All the time I spend thinking about being in a different place is my way of hoping. Hoping that I will somehow be able to move forward with my life, even when one of the key people in my life will not be here. It will mean that the loss will not control my life, but instead my mom's constant love and encouragement will be there to move me forward, find my new adventure and help me figure out, "what's next".
Friday, February 8, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
There's no crying in baseball!
Hillary cried today and everyone was watching . This is my worst nightmare. Not so much that an elected official would cry in public; most cry when they get caught toe-tapping in restroom stalls. The nightmare is that the entire world would be there watching as Hillary cracked, proving that she is too weak to be president. This crybaby has officially squandered the opportunity for all of us post third-wave feminist.
So Hillary what were you thinking when you were conjuring up those tears from your heartless soul? Yes some have said this was your last ditch effort for the sympathy vote. Of course, only naive overly-emotional women would be fooled by these transparent ploys. Hillary, I ashamed that in all of your years as a shrewd, power hungry woman that you haven't learned the basic rules of glass ceiling kung foo fighting. So here are a few of the rules. And remember proper ladies take the greatest of care to never stray from the rules.
4.) Emotion is bad. People do not like emotion, they don't know how to respond. Crying is particularly heinous act giving the illusion that you do in fact have a soul/heart/are breathing. People in power should not posses this quality unless they are cuddling a stranger's baby for a photo op.
3.) A proper woman cannot posses the same qualities that men use to achieve power and success unless she likes " that bitch" tagged on to her name. Specifically on the nice scale, 1 being the devil and 100 being Jesus, a woman should always seek the Christlike perfect 100!
2.) Your personal life is not your own. Instead all of your decisions should be based on how your personal life could impact your professional life. Just a hypothetical: If your your husband likes the occasional bj under his desk from an admiring fan, you should immediately move to disavow and divorce the asshole. Staying with him will make you look like an opportunist bitch.
1.) No matter what you do, realize that however you behave you will be judged differently. And your parents adage of "when you grow up you can be President" are hollow words in a time where women still make 70 cents to the dollar (in the USA of all places), "nappy ass hos" are funny descriptors of women's sports figures, and raped women continue to pay for "their" sins in countries like Saudi Arabia.
So if I were you Hillary, get out now and let the big boys fix the big boy problems.
So Hillary what were you thinking when you were conjuring up those tears from your heartless soul? Yes some have said this was your last ditch effort for the sympathy vote. Of course, only naive overly-emotional women would be fooled by these transparent ploys. Hillary, I ashamed that in all of your years as a shrewd, power hungry woman that you haven't learned the basic rules of glass ceiling kung foo fighting. So here are a few of the rules. And remember proper ladies take the greatest of care to never stray from the rules.
4.) Emotion is bad. People do not like emotion, they don't know how to respond. Crying is particularly heinous act giving the illusion that you do in fact have a soul/heart/are breathing. People in power should not posses this quality unless they are cuddling a stranger's baby for a photo op.
3.) A proper woman cannot posses the same qualities that men use to achieve power and success unless she likes " that bitch" tagged on to her name. Specifically on the nice scale, 1 being the devil and 100 being Jesus, a woman should always seek the Christlike perfect 100!
2.) Your personal life is not your own. Instead all of your decisions should be based on how your personal life could impact your professional life. Just a hypothetical: If your your husband likes the occasional bj under his desk from an admiring fan, you should immediately move to disavow and divorce the asshole. Staying with him will make you look like an opportunist bitch.
1.) No matter what you do, realize that however you behave you will be judged differently. And your parents adage of "when you grow up you can be President" are hollow words in a time where women still make 70 cents to the dollar (in the USA of all places), "nappy ass hos" are funny descriptors of women's sports figures, and raped women continue to pay for "their" sins in countries like Saudi Arabia.
So if I were you Hillary, get out now and let the big boys fix the big boy problems.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Rethinking Sainthood
Recently, a book of Mother Teresa's letters was published. These letters were those she wrote to her superior and confessors during her decades of service. The publishing of these very candid letters has caused quit a stir both inside and outside of the Church. A good portion of her words describe the perpetual distance she felt from God. Certainly the atheists community will point to her writings as just another example of the fabrication of faith and religion that humankind has created. And those within the church ,trying to mediate her very strong statements of doubt and uncertainly, have used her writings to demonstrate how virtuous she was as a servant of God. I think both of the arguments miss the point. So here are my thoughts.
I think Mother Teresa did some pretty amazing things in her life. I don't think many would disagree that she was probably the leading crusader against poverty of our time. Her impact was great and this shouldn't be dismissed. However, her stance on family planning was counter- intuitive to much of her good works. To refute the use of contraceptive by women seems ignorant and downright harmful to millions of women and children alike. But this is my point. Just like us average humans, Mother Teresa is a mixed bag. She had the capacity for great good but also the capacity to negatively impact the world, and in my view, she acted in both respects.
So back to these letters and their significance. As someone who believes in God and considers myself a pretty devoted Christian, I also have an incredibly amount of doubt. And while I don't struggle most with the existential question of the existence of God, I do struggle with the question of God's role in a world of human suffering. The silence of God, which I often feel, is what gives me the most pause.
Although I do not have a window into Mother Teresa's soul, the doubts and fears she raises in her letters seem to reflect the same questions. For me, her letters in many respects are a relief. I don't look at her as an impostor or a hypocrite, but someone who had the capacity to question while still managing to live a remarkably giving life. I wonder if she was more public about her doubts and feelings of abandonment, if she would even be up for sainthood. My guess is, she probably wouldn't be. And this is what is so tragic about these letters; not the doubt she expressed but those that would dismiss both her faith and authenticity because of those doubts. For me, God is big enough for our doubts, fears and the very real emptiness that comes in believing in a loving God.
I think Mother Teresa did some pretty amazing things in her life. I don't think many would disagree that she was probably the leading crusader against poverty of our time. Her impact was great and this shouldn't be dismissed. However, her stance on family planning was counter- intuitive to much of her good works. To refute the use of contraceptive by women seems ignorant and downright harmful to millions of women and children alike. But this is my point. Just like us average humans, Mother Teresa is a mixed bag. She had the capacity for great good but also the capacity to negatively impact the world, and in my view, she acted in both respects.
So back to these letters and their significance. As someone who believes in God and considers myself a pretty devoted Christian, I also have an incredibly amount of doubt. And while I don't struggle most with the existential question of the existence of God, I do struggle with the question of God's role in a world of human suffering. The silence of God, which I often feel, is what gives me the most pause.
Although I do not have a window into Mother Teresa's soul, the doubts and fears she raises in her letters seem to reflect the same questions. For me, her letters in many respects are a relief. I don't look at her as an impostor or a hypocrite, but someone who had the capacity to question while still managing to live a remarkably giving life. I wonder if she was more public about her doubts and feelings of abandonment, if she would even be up for sainthood. My guess is, she probably wouldn't be. And this is what is so tragic about these letters; not the doubt she expressed but those that would dismiss both her faith and authenticity because of those doubts. For me, God is big enough for our doubts, fears and the very real emptiness that comes in believing in a loving God.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Some Thoughts For Today...
1.) I'm addicted to the CrackBerry. Actually my BlackBerry has become my kindred spirit. But my new found technological friend has caused increased procrastination. This amazing device was suppose to increase my productivity at work. The only increase in productivity has been in the volume and length of my texts (I am sorry to all of you whose number happen to be in my phone). I do enjoy getting work emails at all hours of the day- and by work emails I mean tons of spam in the middle of the night. Personally I think this is a spammers dream come true- I mean who wouldn't donate money to a poor widowed Nigerian woman while going in and out of sleep. It has occurred to me that I should probably turn of the notification ring, vibration and light that simultaneously go off for these high importance emails, but that would require me having a clue as how to operate this thing. A better solution might be to disable all functions except the text- that's all I really need anyways.
2.) Who thinks Fred Thompson wouldn't make a great president? I think his weekly address to the nation should definitely incorporate the "du uh" sound clip at the beginning of each episode. I don't know about you, but that "du uh" sound makes me jump- I think it is enough to persuade Iran to give up those nukes.
3.) My mother's side of the family was up here this weekend. I especially like seeing my four girl cousins who are like sisters to me. Here is a pic of my sister and me with them. They other four definitely got the skinny genes in the family.
4.) On a final, more positive note, kudos to the creator of sorbet. Thanks to you Mr./Ms. creator person, I have kept my childhood dream alive of eating ice cream everyday...minus the guilt... with better texture!
2.) Who thinks Fred Thompson wouldn't make a great president? I think his weekly address to the nation should definitely incorporate the "du uh" sound clip at the beginning of each episode. I don't know about you, but that "du uh" sound makes me jump- I think it is enough to persuade Iran to give up those nukes.
3.) My mother's side of the family was up here this weekend. I especially like seeing my four girl cousins who are like sisters to me. Here is a pic of my sister and me with them. They other four definitely got the skinny genes in the family.
4.) On a final, more positive note, kudos to the creator of sorbet. Thanks to you Mr./Ms. creator person, I have kept my childhood dream alive of eating ice cream everyday...minus the guilt... with better texture!
Monday, August 20, 2007
My Disillusion Grows
A couple of Sundays ago, while waiting at the car wash, I picked up the "Viewpoints" section of the Dallas Morning News. Generally, I don't read local newspapers as the national and international coverage is often lacking. I rather read the NY Times or the Washington Post for comprehensive coverage of the news. But since I had some time to kill, I decided to have a look. My favorite part of any newspaper is the editorial section, so naturally I went to that section first. There were some interesting opinion pieces/commentaries on local Dallas issues but what really caught my eye was a full ten paragraph article on the merits of sweet tea. The writer of this article explains the South's hankering for this sweet substance through a myriad of historical and anthropological reasons. Although I can appreciate this cultural exploration, I found myself downright annoyed that the Dallas Morning News printed this fluff piece in the Sunday paper. Of course I realize that this paper will likely print anything that will increase their readership, but in the age when newspapers are laying-off reporters and physically scaling down the size of their papers, I was stunned that so much space was given to this article.
Besides being annoyed that the paper couldn't seem to find a more substantive opinion piece to print, I was annoyed by the actual content of the article. I mean are we still so stuck in the past that a writer would use sweet tea (of all things) to show the subtle differences in the north and the south- does anyone really think sweet tea is an institution of which Dixie can be proud of? And yes the author actually uses the word "Dixie". Sigh
And then there was this. Karen Hughes, the State Department's Undersecretary for Public Affairs and Diplomacy, spoke for our organization. She is certainly impressive and you quickly realize why she is a close advisor to Lil Bush. Her speech centered around the Middle East's perception of the United States. In her speech, Ambassador Hughes emphasized the importance of working with Arab media groups to promote a more positive view of America's role as a world leader. In her opinion, one of the greatest challenges in accomplishing this, is the Arab media themselves. In her opinion, the Arab media, like Al-Jazeera, reports the news in a very biased one-sided, graphic manner. For instance, she said the Arab media rarely covers any news that would be sympathetic to the Israeli cause.
Maybe Karen Hughes is right about the Arab media (I happen to disagree), but what about our media? Doesn't the Belo Corporation, Time Warner, and other media conglomerates have a social responsibility to provide accurate, in-depth news coverage of critical national and international events? I hardly think covering the personal lives of Britney and Lindsay as news-worthy and even a harmless story on the merits of sweet tea seems irresponsible when famines, war and economic collapse dot the world map (maybe we need more maps). But maybe there is a silver lining to all of this. With Rupert Murdoch's recent purchase of the Wall Street Journal, I'm sure the FOX empire will only reverse the tide of sensational journalism bringing the country back to its fair and balanced journalistic standards.
Besides being annoyed that the paper couldn't seem to find a more substantive opinion piece to print, I was annoyed by the actual content of the article. I mean are we still so stuck in the past that a writer would use sweet tea (of all things) to show the subtle differences in the north and the south- does anyone really think sweet tea is an institution of which Dixie can be proud of? And yes the author actually uses the word "Dixie". Sigh
And then there was this. Karen Hughes, the State Department's Undersecretary for Public Affairs and Diplomacy, spoke for our organization. She is certainly impressive and you quickly realize why she is a close advisor to Lil Bush. Her speech centered around the Middle East's perception of the United States. In her speech, Ambassador Hughes emphasized the importance of working with Arab media groups to promote a more positive view of America's role as a world leader. In her opinion, one of the greatest challenges in accomplishing this, is the Arab media themselves. In her opinion, the Arab media, like Al-Jazeera, reports the news in a very biased one-sided, graphic manner. For instance, she said the Arab media rarely covers any news that would be sympathetic to the Israeli cause.
Maybe Karen Hughes is right about the Arab media (I happen to disagree), but what about our media? Doesn't the Belo Corporation, Time Warner, and other media conglomerates have a social responsibility to provide accurate, in-depth news coverage of critical national and international events? I hardly think covering the personal lives of Britney and Lindsay as news-worthy and even a harmless story on the merits of sweet tea seems irresponsible when famines, war and economic collapse dot the world map (maybe we need more maps). But maybe there is a silver lining to all of this. With Rupert Murdoch's recent purchase of the Wall Street Journal, I'm sure the FOX empire will only reverse the tide of sensational journalism bringing the country back to its fair and balanced journalistic standards.
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